


if this is love, please don't break me

by supergaywriting



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Racism, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergaywriting/pseuds/supergaywriting
Summary: Love.Could be a noun: an intense feeling of deep affection. Could also be; a great interest and pleasure in something. The verb is; to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).The Hanahaki Disease is a deadly thing, with only two endings; love or death.Amity Blight never had to worry about it. Why should she? She's 14, what could she possibly know about love?Then Luz Noceda entered her life and everything just got so much more complicated.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 92
Kudos: 866





	if this is love, please don't break me

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: Hey, hey! I'm kinda back? Anyway, this was inspired by my tumblr post I made about this concept. I'm u-look-beautiful-today on tumblr if y'all wanna go check out the post that started this. Anyway, watch The Owl House and support these gay witches!
> 
> Also, I swear this has a happy ending!
> 
> Also, trigger warning for blood and vomiting and racism. (It's actually just a few racist remarks, like 2 lines of it. It's not the whole fic, I promise!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Love.

Could be a noun:  _ an intense feeling of deep affection.  _ Could also be; _ a great interest and pleasure in something. _ The verb is;  _ to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). _

Love. How simple of a definition. How simply it can be defined, hiding how complex it really is. A word that can be taught to children to understand, but without really  _ understanding _ it. 

But children don't care. They run with it and tell everyone they love them. They say they love everything from food to animals to family. They use the word almost carelessly, but fearlessly. 

To love someone with no regard for anything is something that Amity couldn't imagine.

She sighs and pulls at her hair as she reads about  _ Love _ , the definition, chemicals that go off in the brain, the origin, people describing it, and of course, how it connects to the dreaded disease.

_ Hanahaki Disease _ .

Since pre-school she and many other witchlings are taught about this disease that plagues everyone. That love is a beautiful thing, that you can love your family, and pets, that you can say it and feel it. But, love is also dangerous.

You can love your friends, sure of course, but there's a fine line with it. The line between platonic and romantic can melt into each other and that's when you need to be worried.

To love someone and not have it be returned is horrible enough on its own. To know your heart yearns for them, that every thought is filled with them, that every song you hear is about them, even to where you pick outfits that they would like. Just to have the person you love, doesn't think of you like this. You can be a passing thought, maybe just a fun memory, but  _ you _ don't consume their mind.

Then the Hanahaki Disease comes along, adding a twist to the knife.

Amity rubs at her temple, trying to dull the headache that's starting. She releases her hair from the hair tie, running a tired hand through it, gently combing out the knots. 

She sighs heavily as she leans against the wall in her window nook. Her books are laid out before her, along with her notebooks, littered with theories and notes and diagrams and a few doodles. She's spent hours going over love and the disease in very great detail, just trying to piece it all together and how it works.

She knows love is something intense, almost indescribable and yet, very noticeable. Love is beautiful, patient, kind and to be  _ in love _ is magical.

And yet, to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back is dangerous.

Hanahaki Disease dates back to centuries upon centuries ago. It was thought to have existed with the first witches. A disease as common as many others. And yet, this disease is unlike anything else.

Amity sighs and softly pops her neck, returning to the book she had, examining the diagram before she continues to read.

_ To be the victim of a one-sided love can end deadly. If the one that is beloved does not return the same emotion, beware of the petals that infest the victim's throat. The petals tickle and nag, worse than any common cough. They tumble out of mouths bringing unrequited love and blood. As each day passes and feelings are not returned, these petals grow into full flowers, blooming from the victim. They burn and cut up the throat, dragging blood and soil up. These flowers may appear bewitching, but too many will cause the airway to be blocked. Suffocation and a broken heart will be the end of this. _

The diagrams move with the words. Giving the young Blight a good visual of the horrifying outcome. She shivers and glances back at the writing.

_ However, to have the beloved love the victim back, the flowers will be the ones to shrivel and die. For this disease will only end one of two ways: _

_ Love or Death. _

She shuts the book carefully, almost afraid the disease will come out and get her if she closes the book any more forcefully. She draws a small circle and flicks her hand, the books lift off and find their spots back on her shelf. She almost wants to laugh about how outdated that book is, from the cover to the words, and the yellow stained pages. It dates back to possibly her great grandparents' time.

Times have changed, magic has evolved, not enough to eliminate the disease, but enough for a  _ third  _ option.

She takes out her scroll and reads up on the Memory Cleanse Spell.

It starts easy enough with the Tweezers to pick the memory out of the witch through the ear. Once all the memories of the one that is  _ beloved _ are picked out, the spell can begin.

Amity reads and reads, trying her best to understand the spell, but not enough to fully grasp it. The spell is very advanced and complicated, not even her talented siblings can even attempt to perform it.

"This is stupid." She mumbles to herself before closing her scroll. She tucks her knees in and holds herself.

_ Love _ . That's not something she's used to feeling. Her parents are cold, distant, hateful snobs, that only love their reputation and money. She can't even remember the last time she said 'I love you' to them. 

Emira and Edric. She believes she loves them or at the very least, tolerates them. They take care of her, make sure she's safe, sure they tease her and pick on her, but Amity can see their caring smiles. The soft eyes they get when Amity correctly does a spell. She knows they love her and perhaps she does too.

She'll never tell them that though.

But, all that is  _ family _ love, not  _ love _ love. Not romantic love, not falling for someone or being in love with someone.

No, she's 14. What does she know about that?

Sure, others her age are in relationships, some claiming they're in love. Some of it is true. Amity has heard the gossip of couples being together and one falls in love before the other. Petals begin to come out and sometimes it only lasts a few days. Others aren't so lucky. 

But, she's only 14, love is something she doesn't even know.

\-------

_ "And then the Great Azura said to Hecate, "For I have loved you since our first encounter!"  _

_ Hecate gasped in utter and complete shock-" _

"Did you hear that Thomas threw up a daisy during History!?"

"What! No!"

Luz perks her head up from her newest fanfiction. She quickly tucks her papers inside her bag, away from prying eyes. She silently makes her way over to the bookshelf to try and hear the newest rumor mill.

"Mmhmm, right on his desk! He was like 'dude I'm gonna hurl' and then he did!"

"Oh my god! Who do you think it is?"

The other girl scoffs and snatches a book away, almost revealing Luz. Luz ducks and pretends to search for a book.

"Obviously, it has to be Tyler! I mean they are  _ always _ together and the fact that Thomas is making googly eyes at him every second-"

There's a loud shush before Luz can hear the librarian walking towards the girls.

"Ladies, this is a place to study, not TMZ." The two girls giggle before Luz can hear them walk away.

Oh, to be in love. How amazing and terrible that must be. Luz sighs before noticing the book she has her hand on.

_ Love and the Disease: Understanding Hanahaki. _

Luz has never been one to care too much about the disease. It has always been interesting, sure, but not enough for her to really read about it. It's a horrible thing that makes her cautious about  _ Love _ and falling for someone. Which is unfortunate, considering the number of fanfics she makes about her two favorite characters falling in love.

She removes the book and slowly thumbs through the pages. The book is pretty old, the leather is worn and dull, the pages have a yellow tint, and feel ready to crumble under her touch. She can see faded highlighter on certain words, smudge notes next to the detailed diagrams, it seems so...sad.

The notes appear as though someone was trying to possibly find a cure. Random theories are in the margins and Luz can't make out most of the writing. Besides the ink being smudged, the handwriting itself is erratic, emotional, so desperate. 

Luz has to swallow the lump in her throat down, her heart breaks and she feels for the person. It's hard enough to be in love, to not have that love returned, she can't imagine.

"Look, it's the freak show." A hand snatches the book away. Hanna Mason sneers at Luz and flicks through the book. "Wow," the cold laugh she sends Luz makes her flinch. "You're just  _ so _ desperate for love, you'll read about the Hanahaki Disease."

"I was-"

The book flies back and smacks Luz in the face. "Shut up. How about you go jump back over the border?" Her laugh echoes off the bookshelves and Luz puffs up her chest.

"That is a highly racist, not to mention, rude statement to make!" Luz takes a step into Hanna's space. "What is your problem with me?"

Hanna laughs again, shoving past Luz. "I don't need a reason. No one likes you, Taco Bell. And no one, ever, will." She leaves and Luz has to contain herself. 

A part of her wants to ignore Hanna's words. To let it all roll off of her and stay positive. But, the other part of her? Would love to challenge Hanna to a witches duel, just like Azura did. Hanna has no right to say all those racist remarks and Luz would love to put her in her place.

But, it wouldn't stop everyone else.

Luz slides down the bookshelf with a sigh, letting her anger slip away. Just another week. Another week and it'll be summer break. She just needs to do her book report presentation and then she can focus on a summer filled with fanfics, amv's, and new shows to watch. 

Just a normal summer.

\-------

Oh, how wrong she was.

The Boiling Isles is, well not what she was expecting, but it's the place she's always wanted to be.

Mythical creatures, witches, magic, and pure weirdness. Luz has never felt more at home. 

"Luz! Luz! Look!" King comes sprinting from the woods, toppling over a few branches. "Look!" He holds up a sunflower with patches of blood-soaked on it. "Behold! A flower demon that spits deadly blood!" 

Luz giggles and picks up her little boo-boo buddy. "Hmm, looks like a regular flower to me."

"But,  _ blood _ Luz! Cower before its power!"

"Even Luz isn't stupid enough to fall for that, King!" Eda comes strolling out of the house, a cup in her hand.

"Yeah, even I'm not-" wait a second.

"Hey!" Luz pouts and a red blush tints her cheeks. "I may be naive, but I'm not stupid!"

"Sure kid." Eda ruffles her hair before drawing a circle and the flower floats out of King's paws.

"No! The blood demon!" King wiggles in Luz’s arms, trying to take back the flower.

"Stuff it, pint-size. Also, very disgusting of you to pick up,  _ this _ ."

"What is it?" Luz asks, setting a fussy King down.

"The consequences of a stupid disease. But, don't worry about it kid, you'll-"

"Oh! The Hanahaki Disease!" She says nonchalantly, only for the words to hit her. She then groans. "Ugh, that  _ thing _ exists here too?"

For once, Eda is speechless. The human world is definitely a weird place.

"Can't you guys just, I don't know, magic it away?"

Eda chuckles and zaps the offending flower away. "Sure, if you want to turn into a rose and only bloom once every 10 years." She laughs harder and King joins in.

Luz furrows her eyebrows together, now interested in the obvious story behind Eda's words.

\-------

Oh, how she was wrong.

"Azura book club? Azura book club?!" 

Her heart hammers as Luz stares at her with those kind eyes. So full of wonder, curiosity, and something just so soft, it makes Amity’s heart beat faster. 

Amity is no fool, she's smart. She’s the top student after all. She can also self-reflect. She has pages upon page in her diary filled with her thoughts on Luz. From the day she met her when she was covered in abomination sludge. At the time, Amity was angry, upset, and disappointed that Willow would cheat. She was even more frustrated with the human that would encourage her to cheat.

Then it continued. Luz just kept showing up and she cheated again. She tried to play off the 'magic' as her own. Amity thought even less of her, until

That stupid light spell. The way Luz spoke to her. Her voice was gentle but firm, full of determination and honesty. The way her eyes shined, still full of wonder and curiosity. Despite how Amity had talked to her and treated her, Luz still stared at her with kindness and no judgment.

That's the first time Amity felt it. That tug on her heart. Her insides fluttering and her pulse picking up. Amity believes  _ that's _ when it started.

She can feel her face heat up red. "As long as it's a  _ secret _ club, okay?" Is she sure she's still talking about the book club?

Luz's face lights up and Amity can feel something. Something way different than the way her heart clenches. A tickle in her throat. More annoying than painful. She clears her throat a few times. But it continues, becoming persistent.

Her chest starts to burn and the tickle turns into a movement. Amity keeps quiet as Luz and Eda fly through the air, she can barely hear what Emira says. All she can focus on is trying not to throw up. She can taste metallic. A part of her  _ knows _ what this is, but she's in denial. There's just,  _ no _ way.

Emira and Edric start packing up and Amity all-out sprints to the nearest tree. She coughs loudly and harshly, forcing whatever is in her throat to come up. She continues to cough until she can actually  _ feel _ it. She throws manners out the window and reaches inside her mouth. She gags a bit as she pulls out something that makes her heart drop.

A single white daisy petal.

_ Oh, no. No. No. No. _

Tears begin to build as she coughs more up. More petals in her hands with specks of blood on them. Her back hits the tree before she slides down. She can't even be bothered by the snow that slowly melts under her. Having soaked pants isn't even close to the petals forming in her stomach.

She's only 14. Fourteen. What could she even know about love?

She falls into a coughing fit, more petals coming out.

She's in love with Luz.

She pulls out more petals, white daisies.

She's in love, but petals only mean one thing.

Daisies mean hope but,

Luz doesn't love her back.

She feels so hopeless.

\-------

Amity gets sick very quickly after that. She gets a fever and the shakes. The petals come more frequently and she finds herself doubled over in her bathroom. Her skin looks even paler than normal, definitely more sweaty. She has to slap on multiple healing patches to get her fever under control. It keeps the petals at bay, but only for a day. 

She returns to school and tries to distract herself, think about her studies and her student council meetings. She's gotten to the point where she can usually swallow back down the petals and wait until she's alone. But, today is different.

She walks alone to her next class, a needed break away from Boscha. She mentally goes over the new spells she learned yesterday as she passes Willow and Gus. She usually doesn't eavesdrop, especially Willow, it just makes her miss her best friend even more. But, something catches her ear.

"Luz said that she has her entrance exam tomorrow, she's pretty nervous about it."

"Don't worry, I have the banners ready when she fails-"

"Gus! Be supportive of her! Luz has improved greatly. I've been helping her after school."

Amity's heart twists and her chest puffs out. Willow and Luz. Willow has been helping Luz. Sounds like they're best friends.

She can't hold it. Amity runs off to the closest restroom. She slams the door and flicks her hand, locking it as she stumbles into the stall. She empties out her stomach and holds tightly to the porcelain. She brings a shaky hand up and wipes away the blood on her mouth. Yellow rose petals.

Jealousy.

Amity groans and slumps against the stall wall. That's stupid. Amity isn't jealous of anyone, especially not Willow. It's great that Willow has friends, it's great that she has Luz. Luz is amazing, talented, and kind.

Amity coughs up a few more petals.

She sighs and realizes she's not jealous of  _ Willow _ , but the fact she can freely hang out with and be close to Luz. Something Amity so desperately wants.

Amity has no doubt that Luz will get into Hexside. Maybe with her being here, things will be better. Amity could maybe form a better connection with Luz.

Maybe the petals will stop.

\-------

How horribly wrong she was.

Luz starts Hexside and Amity can't control it. Her throat constantly tickles and burns. She has to run out of classrooms to go expel petals, mostly all marigolds.

Grief and jealousy, how pleasant.

She resorts to sitting in the back of classes. Where she can discreetly cough up petals, making them disappear before anyone can notice. It's not ideal, but at least she doesn't have to miss lessons.

At home though? Amity spends hours, throwing up and coughing up petals with blood on it. Sometimes she grabs a trashcan and huddles up on her bed, trying to sleep in between the petals. It all wears on her though. She can feel her energy decline, her focus slips, and soon she's napping in classes, something she has  _ never _ done.

She's gathering her books when it happens.

The day had been going great, she only coughed up a few petals and that was hours ago. Now, the day has ended and she's about ready to go home. She swaps out her books and turns, to face Luz.

"Hello, Amity!" She smiles brightly and leans against the other lockers. Amity’s heart pounds and she pulls her books closer into her chest.

"Oh, um, hey, Luz. What's up?" Her throat tickles and she clears it.

"Welllll," Luz stands up straight, "I was wondering if you wanted to come hang out today?" she tilts her head and Amity resists the urge to awe over the action. 

"H-hang out? Today? W-with, with you?" Her face heats up a lot.

"Duh! With me and of course Gus and Willow!"

The tickle becomes more annoying and more painful. Amity coughs and tries to swallow it back down. But the pain becomes almost unbearable and she wants to scream. She's afraid if she does, petals will fall out and coat Luz’s shoes. All she can do is shake her head no. It breaks her heart seeing Luz’s face fall. That beautiful smile disappears and Amity hates herself even more.

She rushes past Luz and doesn't stop, even when Luz calls after her. She hurries but she knows she can't make it to a restroom. She plows into the first classroom she sees. She only has a second to register the other two people in the room, before the petals come up.

"Whoa, Mittens! Wha-"

Willows and blood spill out and coat Edric's shoes.

Amity falls to her knees and doesn't even hear Edric whine about his new shoes. Now it's willows, meaning sadness. Wow, can this get any worse?

A hand is placed on her back and Amity remembers that she's not alone in here. Things can always get worse apparently.

"Mittens," Emira says quietly, kneeling down next to her. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Amity chuckles numbly. She wipes away the blood and stares daggers at Emira. "Why? You are seriously asking me,  _ why _ ? All you two do is pick on me!" She shakes off Emira's hand and brings her knees into her chest. "The  _ last _ thing I need is for you two,  _ jerks _ , to tell  _ everyone _ ." She grits out as tears fall and she chokes down her sobs.

"Amity," Edric starts, doing a quick spell to clean up the mess. He sits in front of her and Emira moves next to her. "We love you. You're our baby sister, we would do anything to protect you. And something like,  _ this _ , isn't something we would go telling everyone about."

"Ed is right. Having the Hanahaki Disease is...terrible. We want to help you."

"Yeah! Who's the one? What dipweed doesn't love you back?! I swear I'll-"

"Jesus, Ed! You're an idiot! It's obviously Luz the human."

"Wha-Luz?"

"Emira!"

Amity goes to protest, but she throws up even more willows, the petals giving away who is to blame.

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Emira rubs Amity’s back and they all let everything sink in.

"Sooo, the human? Nice choice!"

"Ed!"

"What?! I'm trying to be positive here!"

Amity smiles lightly, maybe having a bit of help won't be so bad.

\-------

Amity tries to avoid Luz, maybe falling  _ out _ of love will reverse it all. But, she somehow ends up next to Luz or wrapped up in her adventures. She held it together when they went through Willow's mind, mostly because she was focused on her own past mistakes rather than the object of her affection. Although, that hug nearly sent her. She managed to choke those down.

Then Grom came.

Edric and Emira had pushed her for days to tell Luz. That it won't be so bad, that Luz probably likes her back, that she'll never know unless she tries.

The most she compromised is at least asking Luz to Grom.

She was too weak to even do  _ that _ .

But, Luz easily told her she would go with her. Luz with her sweet smile, kind eyes, and that outfit that Amity still doesn't understand, but Luz still looked amazing in.

Then they danced. Amity could've died right after and been fine. They were so connected, in sync with each other. The way Luz held her as she spun around sent goosebumps up and down her spine. They just fit together so well. It's a night Amity will never forget.

For more than one reason.

She tucks the tiara away, thinking about Luz. How they were both crowned Grom Queens. Luz and her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her hand on Amity's. She expects the petals, she goes to the bathroom and coughs them up, and coughs and coughs, until she can't. She tenses once she realizes she isn't breathing. She continuously gags and chokes on the item in her throat. Amity begins scratching at her throat and hitting her chest. This is different, this isn't just petals. Tears roll down her face and her head pounds at the lack of oxygen.

This is how it ends. Being suffocated by flowers. At least she got to dance with Luz.

Hands are on her and spells are being cast rapidly. Emira heard Amity choking and ran as fast as she could, with Edric close behind. They begin smacking healing patches on Amity and casting spells to do CPR. They roll her to her side and Edric reaches inside her mouth to help the flower along. Once it's out, a fountain of blood and more flowers come flowing out. 

Emira clenches her eyes shut and guides Amity up. She holds her little sister close and whispers reassurance into her hair.

Edric stares at his bloody hands for a moment before he makes it all vanish. He doesn't notice he's crying until Emira grabs his forearm. 

His little sister almost died. To hell with letting Amity tell Luz. She'll never do it. He stares hard at Emira and she nods. She has the same idea.

With that, Edric runs out of the bathroom and jumps on his father's staff. Luz needs to know.

\-------

Luz finishes changing out of her Grom outfit, taking a moment to stretch. Dancing with Amity was definitely a highlight, but her arms are still not that strong. Not that Amity was even heavy, Luz just doesn't have a lot of muscle. Luz smiles to herself, now that some tension is released from her mom, she can focus on how the night went.

Mostly, Amity. 

Luz feels like an idiot for not telling her how pretty, no wait, beautiful, she looked in her dress. Honestly, Luz couldn't tell if the feeling in her stomach was from nerves or the butterflies Amity gives her. It's been happening more and more recently. Luz had ignored it before, ever since the library incident to be exact. She's pushed the feelings down enough that she doesn't notice it most days. 

But, finding out that Amity was going to ask someone to Grom, definitely brought the feelings back up. Luz had to choke it down and just tell Amity she would go with her. Because that's what  _ friends _ do. She had so much strain on her voice as she said,  _ friends _ . Because, that's what Amity sees her as, sees them as. 

_ No one likes you, Taco Bell. And no one, ever, will. _

Luz sighs and goes back to her window, only to be startled by Edric at her window. Definitely not the Blight she wanted.

She falls back with a yelp, thankful that Eda is a hard sleeper. 

"Oh good, you're awake!" Edric yanks Luz up. "Perfect let's go!" He starts to drag her out the window before Luz’s brain finally starts up.

"Whoa! Wait!" Luz manages to get her arm out of Edric's grip. "I am not just going to go-"

"Ugh! We don't have time for this! Amity needs you!" 

Luz stops short, her hands dropping. "A-amity? What's wrong-"

"Lets. Go." Edric mounts the staff and holds out his hand. 

Luz shakes her head and a wave of courage and determination fills her. She takes the hand and hops on the staff, flying quickly to the Blight Mansion.

\-------

Edric flies them into a window, Luz guesses it's his own bedroom by how messy it is. Edric immediately rushes out the door and turns right, Luz following close behind. They come to a black door, with  _ Amity _ on it in the color of Azura's hair. Luz only gets a second to smile over it before Edric bursts the door open.

There, laying on the carpet in Emira's arms is Amity. Luz can see how pale the girl is, her hair sticks on her face and Luz can see her shaking.

Luz’s legs take her all the way to her. She collapses in front of Amity and can see her lips are stained red. "Amity…" Luz whispers her name, not believing this is the same girl she danced with just hours ago.

Amity's eyes flutter open before she snaps upright. "Luz…what are you doing here?"

Luz tilts her head and furrows her eyebrows. Her heart aches seeing how horrible Amity looks. The spark in her eyes is gone, her face almost looks sunken in and Luz wonders how she didn't notice. 

"Ed said you needed me and well," Luz shrugs with a small laugh, "of course I came."

Amity's face goes red before panic fills her eyes. Luz goes to ask, but Amity begins to throw up blood-soaked flowers. Luz stumbles back, stunned.

Flowers.

Amity finishes and blood runs down her chin. Luz can feel the color drain from her own face. Amity has the Hanahaki Disease. Who could possibly not love Amity back?

"Who? Who's done this? I promise Amity, I will go get whoever it is and bring them here so they know-"

Emira groans loudly. "God you're an idiot too! It's-"

"You, Luz." Amity whispers and doesn't meet her eyes. 

Her? There's, there's no way. Luz is, well Luz! She must have heard her wrong. 

"C-come again? I think-"

Amity slowly meets her eyes, a deep blush covering her face. "It's  _ you _ , Luz. I-I," she groans and rubs at her face. "God, I  _ love _ you, Luz."

Luz is speechless. She can only stare at Amity, her own mouth falls open and shuts, stunned by the confession. Amity Blight loves her. Her. Luz. Luz can feel her emotions going crazy, so much runs through her mind, her heart clenches, and hammers. She can't think about anything. She runs on pure emotions.

"I love you too."

She says it easily, so smoothly that Luz doesn't really comprehend what she just said. She does love Amity. She can feel it or at least she believes it's love.

Everyone waits with their breaths held. Time slowly passes and Amity doesn't make a sound. Luz starts to smile and goes to say it again before it happens.

A wet cough comes from Amity and she clenches at her chest. Luz can hear the air attempting to escape and she panics. She moves toward the girl to somehow help. Amity reaches inside her mouth and pulls out a yellow flower. Luz knows it's a carnation from Willow.

"Amity! What-wait, I thought-"

"You know what  _ this _ means, Luz?" Amity snaps, tears falling down her face. She's hurt. Luz hurt her. 

"...no."

" _ Rejection _ , Luz. It means rejection." Her voice is raspy and so full of hurt. Luz’s heart twists painfully. This isn't right.

"What? N-no! I love you, Amity!"

More and more flowers come spilling out of Amity’s mouth, her face twists with pain, both physical and emotional. Luz’s tears fall freely, she loves her! She knows she loves Amity...doesn't she?

"Get. Out."

"Wha-Amity wait-"

"Get out, Luz!" Amity yells and moves to push at Luz. It isn't rough, barely even a shove, more of Amity just rests her hands on Luz’s shoulders. Luz just walks back on her own, staring at the girl she at least has feelings for. Amity is a mess of sweat, blood, and tears, but she's still the most gorgeous girl Luz has ever seen.

Luz bites her lip and lets herself be 'pushed' out to the hallway. The door slamming in her face does sting pretty bad.

Edric rests a hand on her shoulder.

Luz stares up at him, guilt runs through her. "I-I love h-her, Edric." She chokes out through her own cries.

"The disease doesn't lie, Luz."

"But-" Edric holds up a hand, shaking his head.

"I know you care about her Luz, we all know. But, you're not  _ in love _ with her."

"I-I could be though!"

Edric swallows hard and removes his hand, crossing his arms instead. "Just, she needs time, Luz. And you should take some time too. Really think about if you love my baby sister."

"I d-"

"Enough. Reflect on it. We'll give you some time, but if you can't," Edric sighs, "we will fix it."

Luz fidgets with her hands. "How?"

"The Memory Cleanse Spell." Edric whispers, lowering his eyes. "It's an alternate cure."

Luz shakes her head. "Eda said that there was no magic to fix it. The last person who tried-"

"They tried to go directly  _ at _ the disease. This is a loop-hole of sorts." Edric rubs the back of his neck before he starts again. "This will erase her memories of-"

"Whoa! That's pretty harsh don't you think? Have all her memories gone?"

"Not all her memories. The spell will only erase those of the one she loves," Edric pauses and stares at Luz. "It'll erase  _ you _ from her memories, Luz."

A heavyweight settles on her chest, slowly crushing her. That option sounds horrible, maybe not as bad as suffocation, but still bad. To just forget a person, the memories made, how they make you feel. Luz swallows hard, but if she can't love Amity back, in a real honest way, then it'll be her only option besides death.

Luz wouldn't mind being forgotten if it means Amity lives.

Luz stands tall, a conviction in her. "You guys won't have to fix it, I promise. Give me some time. I'll prove it to all of you that I love her."

Edric smirks. "I bet you will, human."

\-------

Luz tosses and turns on her sleeping bag. Thoughts of that evening replaying over and over. Amity has the Hanahaki Disease. She has that because she's in love. Amity is in love with Luz.

It's a lot to take in.

Luz gives up on sleep and instead climbs out her window and lays on the roof. She lets the gentle breeze cool her and the stars add a nice way to let her mind drift off.

How long has Amity loved her? How long has she even  _ liked _ Luz? Luz thinks back on every interaction they had. She tries to over-analyze every movement, every word, every tick of the face, she tries but all Luz can remember is how  _ she _ felt. 

Luz had already thought about that. About how she has been in denial, that she's buried those feelings. That she never thought anyone would like her back, especially someone like Amity Blight.

Luz ponders over her feelings. She knows she loves Amity, but it isn't romantic. Luz thinks for a moment and comes to the conclusion that its platonic love. 

Good to know she loves Amity as a friend.

But it's not enough and Luz just  _ knows _ her feelings go deeper.

Luz lets her heart take over. She can feel it pick up speed when she thinks about the youngest Blight. Her mind swims with thoughts of the girl. How her laugh is bubbly and contagious. That when she smiles, a true smile, her eyes crinkle. That when she talks about something she's passionate about, her eyes will tinkle. Luz thinks about how smart Amity is and not in a show-off or snotty way, at least not anymore. 

Amity was and is willing to change, to be a better person. Luz has noticed it. Amity comes up and openly talks to not only her, but Willow and Gus too. She smiles at them, waves at them in passing. Amity is trying to change and Luz can see how determined she is.

Amity is also kind and caring. She shows it in little ways. Gus said off-hand that he forgot his lunch and without question, Amity returned to the table with a full lunch tray. She never asked for Gus to pay her back, she just did it without hesitation. She checks up on Willow, always asking if Boscha bothered her. She even left little flashcards in Willow's locker to help her for her exam. Luz can just ask if Amity will help her and she says yes before even knowing the situation. She goes out of her way for Luz, everytime. She goes headfirst into anything Luz asks and Luz wants to kick herself. How could she not notice?

She giggles to herself as the butterflies erupt in her stomach. She rests a hand on her chest and feels her heart hammer and stutter thinking about Amity. She smiles and now she knows for sure, she has a crush on Amity. It isn't a total ‘I’m in love’ crush, but it's still a crush that can lead to love. That's all she needs.

Luz has a crush on Amity and is determined to let it be known.

\-------

Amity avoids Luz like the Black Plague. She takes new paths to her classes, ducks behind students, and doesn't go to the cafeteria. Ever since,  _ that night _ , the flowers are a permanent feature, and just even seeing Luz, sets them off.

She sighs as she doodles in her notebook and waits for everyone else to finish their test. Amity was naturally the first one done so she gets the joy of just sitting and waiting. She's thankful for it, just in case she needs to run off to the restroom. She lets her mind wander, mostly thinking of Luz, she's always thinking of her.

Then a new thought comes, the Memory Cleanse Spell. An easy escape, to clean the slate and have the disease be gone. To just, forget about Luz. Forget all their memories together, how she makes her feel. To forget her smile, her laugh, how unbelievably kind she is, to forget how it feels for Luz to hug her, her hand in hers, how it feels to dance with Luz.

She freezes her pen, seeing that she sketched a character that looks suspiciously like Luz.

Luz. Amity smiles sadly. Despite this situation she's in, she could  _ never _ want to forget Luz. To her, that would be worse than this disease.

Her stomach turns and her chest burns. She calmly raises her hand and quickly slips out into the halls. She hurries to the bathroom and checks to make sure she's alone. She empties out willows and blood.

Sadness, god, can't these flowers switch up?

Amity cleans herself up and exits the bathroom quickly enough that she doesn't see a certain human standing next to the door. If Amity would've noticed her, she would see that Luz watches her with sad eyes and a question dying on her lips. Amity doesn't notice however, she returns to her class none the wiser that Luz was even there.

\-------

"Okay, you can do this! You got this! You are Luz Noceda! You've faced scarier things than this!" Luz quietly gives herself a pep talk as she walks up the Blight's driveway. She knows Amity avoided her all day and she really can't blame her. Luz messed up by just saying those words without any real thought. But, she's had the whole weekend to think her feelings over and self-reflect.

"Yo, human!"

Luz stops short of the front door, looking up and seeing Edric hanging out his window. Before Luz can say anything back, a blue light forms around her and she's lifted off the ground. She yelps and drops to her knees, grasping the edge of the circle. She stops right at Edric's window, the male Blight smiles at her happily.

"Glad to see you. Have a good weekend?"

Luz huffs and stands up on wobbly legs. "Let's cut to the chase. Yes, I did do that self-reflecting stuff."

Edric leans almost out of his window. "And?"

Luz actually gets a bit bashful. Wow, this will be the first time really admitting that she has a crush on Amity. Her emotions are finally sorted and she knows what she feels.

"I like Amity. I'm not in love, not  _ yet _ , but, Ed," Luz puts her hands on his shoulders, "I  _ really _ like your sister, way more than a friend. She makes me happy, she makes me want to be better in school and magic. She makes my heart melt and-"

"Okay, ew. As cute as this is, I still don't want to know how my sister makes your heart melt. I believe you." He tugs Luz inside. "Also, never use the front door, mother and father will  _ never _ let you inside."

Luz halts her movements. "They don't know about Amity?"

Edric chuckles dryly. "They wouldn't care even if they did know." He leaves it at that and opens his door. "Go tell her whatever you have planned."

Luz stores that parent statement away, a question for a later date. She smiles nervously and goes to the black door. It's cracked open just enough for Luz to see inside. She doesn't look too far before she stops and knocks. She continues to knock until another hand pops up and swings the door open.

Luz jumps back and sees Emira smirking next to her. "Ed told me what you said. Also, Mittens is in her bathroom vomiting up those flowers. Just go sit in there." Emira winks and spins to return to her own bedroom, leaving Luz alone again.

Luz stares at the open door and crosses her fingers. "Amity please forgive me but Emira said to just do it and I really don't want your parents catching me out here." She whispers the apology and hurries into the room. She silently shuts the door. Luz takes a moment to look at the bedroom, bow that she doesn't have a dying Amity on the floor.

The room is spacious and organized to a T. Luz can see that every piece of furniture is thought out in placing and not a speck of dust can be found. The bed takes up a good amount of space, looking beyond soft and comfortable. A noise from the door to Luz’s left has her moving towards it.

Luz can hear Amity gag and vomit. She rests her head against the door and her heart breaks piece by piece. She wants to help her, but she knows she can't, it's not her place to see Amity like this.

She hears the water running and she steps back and prepares for the girl to come out.

\-------

Amity would call this day a bit of success. This is only the 3rd time she's thrown up these flowers today. Avoiding Luz was difficult and a bit heart breaking but it helped with the flowers. She  hates to admit it but this will probably be her new routine for now on.

Of course, the universe hates her.

She walks out of her bathroom only to find Luz standing in her bedroom. Her heart goes into overdrive and her mind tells her to run into Luz and hug her tightly. To tell her she loves her thousand times over. 

She reaches a hand out but snatches it back. Her heart drops as she remembers their last interaction. 

"Luz, what are you doing here?" She tries to sound cold and heartless but knows it isn't what it used to be. Her insides flutter as Luz adjusts her hoodie and stands up taller. She's determined about something and Amity internally combusts over it. Luz takes a few strides closer to her and smiles shyly. 

“I came here, because, well-I-well, I do like you Amity. I know I do! I can feel the butterflies. I want to take you on a date, like a  _ date _ date-”

Her mind blocks out the rest of Luz's words as her brain and heart battle over what to do.

She wants to scream ‘yes’ at Luz. Jump into her arms and beg her to take her on a date right now.

But, Amity knows pity when she sees it. Luz doesn't actually want this. She's just so kind and helpful. Her stupid big heart is just telling her to do this. Amity knows that Luz would never have done this if it wasn't for the disease.

"Get. Out."

Luz stops her speech and fumbles over her words. "Wh-I, Amity liste-"

"No, you listen. Do you think I'm  _ that _ naive?” Amity scoffs and steps back. “I don’t need your pity. I don’t want it. I don't want you just pretending to want to date me."

“I, no Amity, I didn’t come here to pity you! I want-"

“Do you think I'm desperate? That you would come here and say all this and I would just agree to it?” Amity snaps as tears build in her eyes and her lower lip quivers. “Do you know how many times I’ve pictured this moment? How much I wanted you to come to my door and sweep me off my feet. I wanted this for so long, but it never played out like this.” She whispers and rubs at the tears falling down her cheeks. 

"Amity…" Luz pleads, begging for something Amity won't give.

"You don't love me, Luz. And that's okay," she musters up enough courage to look her in the eyes. She even manages a watery smile. "It'll be okay, Luz. I wouldn't want you to just date me to clear your conscience or just because you feel the need to. It's why I never wanted to tell you. I wanted you to like me on your own."

"Amity, I  _ do _ like you." Luz quickly clears the distance and takes her hand. "Please believe me. I've liked you for weeks! I was just too stupid to realize it-"

"Stop." Now it's Amity’s turn to plead. Pure desperation in her voice and she takes her hand away. Her throat burns and more flowers are coming. "Please, Luz. Just leave. If you actually like me more than a friend, then leave, now." She doesn't stick around, she runs to her bathroom and locks the door. She empties out the next patch of flowers, she vaguely hears a door click shut, but ignores it in favor of picking the flowers out of her throat.

\-------

Luz paces her bedroom, going over her mental checklist. 

Water bottles? Check. Energy bars? Check. Napkins? Check. Love letters? Check. New book? Check.

Yesterday was...a disaster to say the least. But, it gave Luz even more motivation to prove to Amity that this crush is real. That she  _ likes _ Amity and it's not because of this stupid disease. Luz just has to show her and the only way Luz can show affection is through actions.

Nothing too grand, because Luz knows Amity doesn't like that kind of stuff. Just little things. Little things that Luz just should've been doing.

She gets to school early and feeds her letter into Amity’s locker. Along with a bottle of water and a snack. She'll hold onto the book until later.

She nods to herself and quickly retreats away. Hoping the girl won't just throw it away.

\-------

A week now. For a week, Amity has been greeted with a drink, a snack, and a letter in her locker. She was frustrated at first. She let the items sit there for a few days, only for more to be added. She tried to ignore them, but she couldn't ignore the drink, snack, and napkin she would find waiting outside the bathrooms after she got done with her flowers.

She caught Luz a few times, running off and going around a corner. 

Now, Amity looks forward to her letter and other presents. 

The letters aren't full-length novels or anything fancy. They are short and sweet and purely Luz. And Amity loves it all.

_ Hey beautiful! _

_ It's me, Luz, obviously, I mean unless you get letters from other witches? I hope you don't but if you do, it's me Luz!!! _

_ Did you know the first thing I noticed about you was your eyes? I mean, I was hiding in a bush and you were kinda mean to Willow, but I could still see your eyes. How golden they looked in the sunlight. Then after our witches duel, I saw that they have little specks in them like freckles!!!! They are one of my favorite things about you!!! _

_ Have a good day!! I really like yooooooou <3 _

_ Always, Luz _

Amity tucks the note in with her others inside her binder. A smile playing on her lips and those flowers act up. She takes her water and snack and hurries to a bathroom. 

Today it's peach-colored roses, appreciation. Amity smiles and flushes them down. Despite how bad it hurts, the roses are a nice change of pace. Yesterday they were light pink, meaning admiration. At least they aren't full of sadness and jealousy anymore.

She cleans up and downs her water quickly. She starts to munch on her snack as she exits the bathroom and looks off to the side. Only a water bottle and a small sticky note.

_ I ran out of snacks :*( also are the napkins even helpful??? ~Luz  _

Amity giggles and her heart stutters. She looks up and finds Luz hiding around the corner. Amity sends a small thumbs up and Luz smiles so widely, Amity is afraid she might pull a muscle. Luz starts to walk over, but Amity shakes her head no. And of course, Luz is nothing short of a gentleman and stops. Her smile falters only slightly, she still shoots back her own thumbs up and hurries off to find Willow or Gus.

She makes it so hard to avoid her.

\-------

A sigh escapes her lips as she sets her new book aside. Coming home to a new book at her window seal has definitely been a nice surprise. It never has a From on it, but it doesn't take an Emperor's Coven Member to know it's from Luz. 

Her chest tightens and she coughs up a flower. She actually laughs at the yellow roses with red tips.

Falling in love.

God, Amity is ready there. How much more can she possibly fall for Luz? Does falling for someone ever stop? 

She smiles and drops the rose into her trash can. At that moment she can hear Edric open his window. Him and Luz exchange pleasantries for a moment. Amity rolls her eyes at how they think they're oh so sneaky.

The past week, Edric and Emira have been sneaking Luz into their house, just for Luz to sleep outside of her room. She's just thankful Emira put an illusion spell over Luz. It keeps her invisible to the maids and her parents. 

Amity knows it isn't meant to be creepy. She knows that Luz is just worried and Amity can't blame her. She knows it's why Luz follows her around school, she knows that Luz would beat herself up if Amity chokes on a flower and no one is there to help her.

God, Amity loves Luz even more.

Amity tosses and turns in bed, only coughing up a few more roses. Her heart aches and is telling her to just accept it. That Luz has been trying so hard. That this is what she has been wanting. For Luz to like her, for all of this to happen.

But Amity’s brain, a more rational side, still tells her to keep Luz away. She's only doing this because she feels bad. That her feelings couldn't possibly be genuine. She debates back and forth and finally comes up with a compromise.

She rolls out of bed and hurries before her nerves get her. She rips open her door to find Luz chilling against the wall, eating snacks, and probably reading fanfiction on her human scroll. Luz jumps at the movement and stands up.

"Amity! It's not-"

“One chance." She crosses her arms. “You get one chance at this. To show me that your feelings are genuine and you could actually...love me." She lets out a shaky breath and forces her eyes to meet Luz’s.

A sea of emotions flashes through Luz’s eyes. Until her words finally sink in. The happiness that spreads across her face is bright like a fireball. Amity only has a second to react before Luz launches herself at her, in a crushing hug.

She only gets a beat to enjoy the warmth. Her throat burns and the flowers begin to move up. She has to push Luz back and stumble away as a wet cough starts up. She barely makes it to her toilet as red roses and white daisies come out.

Love and hope. Oh, boy.

As Amity finishes this round, she allows Luz into the bathroom with her, she needs someone to comfort her right now. And Luz gladly takes it. She rubs her back in slow circles and speaks kind words to her as more and more flowers come out. Luz gently pulls back her hair and re-does her ponytail. 

Amity finishes and slumps against her bathtub. Luz wordlessly grabs Amity’s cup and fills it with water. She sits next to her as she hands her the water. Amity wants to tell her she loves her, but her rational side kicks in. There was more to be said.

“You get this chance on one condition." She sets down the cup and shifts to fully face Luz. They both sit crossed legged, and Amity can feel the goosebumps from where their knees just slightly touch. "Don’t force this. If we do this and you realize you don’t like me like that," her voice drops to a whisper, her confidence fading. The pain in her voice is obvious. "Please...don’t force it, Luz. Please, don't break my heart...” 

Her eyes dart away, she forces the tears to stay at bay. When did she get so soft?

Warm hands are on hers and Luz pulls her closer. Amity dares to look back into those caring eyes.

“Deal," Luz whispers. "But I promise you Amity, I won’t have to force anything.” A fire sparks in her eyes and Amity is inclined to believe her. "I won't break your heart."

“We’ll see.”

\-------

Amity has died. She has died and gone to the good place. That is the only way to describe her life.

Luz is just so...affectionate? But it's not over the top or complete PDA. It's healthy and not overwhelming. 

Luz waits at Amity’s locker in the mornings with a letter and water bottle and a snack. 

"Mornin' beautiful!"

"How's my favorite girl?"

"Did you sleep alright?"

"Wow, you look stunning today."

Each one is met with a red face, a stuttered out reply, and a stupid flower coming up. 

After that, Luz just talks to Amity about classes or something silly King did or a new spell and it all feels so natural, so normal. Like it's meant to be. Amity has to shake that thought away. It's way too early to tell.

Amity protested the first day, but she now allows Luz to carry her books as they walk to class. Luz even holds her hand, intertwining their fingers, and holds on tightly. Amity has to choke down the stupid flowers that beg to come up.

Luz always drops Amity off first, before she kisses her hand and sprints off to her own class. Of course, a flower makes its way up, but Amity doesn't mind. These flowers aren't near as bloody as they used to be.

Luz takes her on dates, like actual dates, not outings with Gus and Willow, or adventures with Eda. It's just  _ them _ . Luz comes and picks her up on Owlbert and takes her off somewhere. Owlbert is also a gentleman and flies off for a little bit, to leave them alone.

And, oh, wow. Sometimes the dates are romantic. Just like the one they are on now.

Luz had told Amity to dress comfortably, nothing fancy. She pulls out her skinny jeans she hasn't gotten to wear in a few months and a simple dark t-shirt. Luz showed up in a whole new outfit that Amity really didn't know she possessed. A pair of relaxed-fit jeans, a white shirt, and a simple jacket. 

She then asked if she could blindfold Amity.

"It's just, it will be obvious where we're going and I want it to be a surprise! Please?" Amity is so weak for that pout.

Although, the blindfold was worth it. 

Now she stands at the same cliff they danced at on Grom. The evening sun falls over the land and basks it in a soft glow. What really sets her heart off is the picnic Luz has set up under the tree that bloomed after Grom was defeated.

Amity is speechless as Luz takes her hand and walks her over. She takes a seat as Luz flops down and shuffles through the bag.

"So, I had the twins help me with some of your favorite snacks and I also packed some of mine for you to try!" Luz smiles proudly as she takes out the Wolf Berry Snaps. 

Amity grabs Luz’s forearm to get her attention.

Luz smiles easily at her. "Yes, babe?"

Her insides buzz every time Luz calls her a cute nickname. She forces the cough down in favor of leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on Luz’s cheek. 

"Thank you, Luz. I love it."

She relishes in Luz’s own red face, about time someone else does the blushing around here.

"Of course! I wouldn't do this for anyone else."

The date goes smoothly. They talk about random facts about themselves, old memories, and just about anything. Amity tries some of Luz's human food, specifically Hispanic food. She finds she likes the weird rice pudding that Luz calls 'Arroz con Leche.' And she can't do the spicy flakes on the fruit. But, it's still a perfect date, mostly because of Luz.

Just when Amity couldn't fall more, Luz takes out another new book from behind the tree.

"So, apparently the new Azura book came out in the human world and I just so happen to get my hands on it, soooo?"

Amity can't help the squeal of delight, she's not even embarrassed. Luz is safe. She would never judge her. Which is why she gets so bold.

"Would you, um, I don't know. Maybe, read it to me?" 

Amity will never get tired of that smile. 

"Well, duh!" Luz slides back until she's resting against the tree. She raises her arm and nods her head in a 'come here' motion. 

Amity tries not to look too excited, but she knows she all but scrambles to get under Luz’s waiting arm. She snugs her head in between Luz’s shoulder and the side of her neck. She takes a moment to breathe in the sweet scent that is purely Luz. Her arms sneak under the jacket and hugs herself closer to the other girl. She's grateful that Luz is a mini fireball, Amity was starting to get a bit cold.

"Cozy?"

Amity can only hum and sink in further. 

Unfortunately, the small kiss to her forehead has Amity up and hiding behind the tree. Red roses tumble out and Luz is there to rub her back and whisper comforting words. Amity finishes and she wants to run away. She felt like she just ruined everything. How much of a buzzkill would it be to take a girl on this date, only to have her vomit flowers everywhere?

A gentle squeeze to her hand has her looking back at the girl who has won her heart. She tilts her head, eyes full of concern. "You okay, mi amor?" 

Another word Amity will have to ask about, but with how tender Luz says it, Amity is willing to bet it's a term of endearment.

"Yeah, I'm just, sorry I ruined everything."

"What? No, no, Amity, you didn't! It's all still going amazing to me." She smiles and tugs Amity closer. She pecks her cheek with no hesitation. "If you feel up for it, I wanna read to you."

The feeling in her chest shifts, not the usual burn, but a whole new tightness. A single tear rolls down her face and she doesn't catch it in time before Luz does.

"Hey," Luz's face drops as she cups her cheek. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Amity sniffles, and her voice cracks. "I-it's just. You're so amazing, Luz. And j-just," she rolls her eyes at how dumb she is for crying. "You just deserve so much more than a girl that vomits flowers at every interaction and cries over little things."

Luz scoffs and pulls Amity into a tight hug. "Don't say that. I don't deserve anything,  _ you _ deserve the whole world." Amity's arms squeeze tightly around Luz's neck and shoulders. Her hands tangle into Luz's hair and she slowly combs through it. "Besides, you're kind of everything I ever wanted." Amity squeezes tighter and allows herself to be held.

Luz breaks the silence with a question. "It sounds silly, but I don't know how this stuff works. But, would you be my girlfriend Amity?"

Amity giggles and tries to hide her squeal. She even manages to keep the flowers down. She pulls back to look at Luz. She smiles softly and nods. "Of course. As long as you're mine?"

"Of course."

She knows she's fallen completely and totally in love. There's no denying it now.

She just hopes Luz is even halfway there too.

\-------

They continue each day with their new routine. Some days, Amity surprises Luz and takes her to class and carries her books. Amity also gets confidence in taking Luz on dates. 

She also definitely uses her parents' money to take Luz to the movies and the carnival.

But, planning meaningful dates is Amity’s favorite.

They spent one night laying under the stars out in the woods by Blight Mansion. The twins helped Amity make a floating platform for them. High enough from the ground but just under the  tree line. They watched the stars as music played and they just talked about their dreams and a possible future together. One of Amity’s favorite nights.

After that night, Amity notices something incredible. No more flowers. She still has the petals and blood, but the full flowers are gone.

She's back to annoying tickles and just a few coughs. 

Luz is falling for her. She's honest, genuinely falling for her.

A single white petal.

Hope.

\-------

She taps on the staff as they cruise the sky. Amity rests comfortably against Luz's back, her arms secured around her middle. Luz hopes Amity doesn't hear how loudly her heart is. 

All-day a single thought has been running through Luz’s mind. Really the thought formed days ago, but ever since this morning, it has been persistent.

Luz is in love with Amity.

And this time, she's positive about it.

Each passing day has just brought new things to learn about Amity. New things to love about her. Luz learns her little quirks like she clicks her pen twice when she's stuck on a problem. Her left eyebrow twitches before she laughs. The right one twitches if she's annoyed.

Luz learns everything that makes Amity, Amity.

Each day Luz could feel herself fall deeper and deeper. And each day, Luz became more and more excited. She's never been able to feel these emotions before. Mostly out of fear of the disease, but now that she can be free to feel love, she doesn't want it to ever go away.

"You okay, babe? You feel super tense." Amity asks, her breath hitting Luz’s ear.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Just thinking about my beast keeping test coming up!"

Amity laughs and pecks Luz's cheek. "I'll help you study if you want."

_ I love you _ .

"Y-yeah! That'll be great!"

They continue to fly until Owlbert lowers them down, right on top of the library's roof.

Amity laughs as she hops off. She gives Owlbert a loving scratch. "You break as many rules as Luz does."

_ I love you. _

Luz shakes her head and wanders over to the ledge. The library isn't the tallest, but it does give a beautiful view of Bonesborough. She leans against the edge on her forearms.

Amity moves next to her and wraps her arms around Luz's.

_ I love you. _

"This is nice. Glad Owlbert dropped us off here."

Luz glances over at her girlfriend and her heart goes nuts, almost bursting out of her chest.

"Yeah, he  _ is _ a very smart owl."

Amity only hums and leaves a quick kiss on Luz’s cheek.

_ I love you. _

"Okay so, I lied about the test."

Amity pulls back for a second but laughs once the words settle. "As much as I hate liars, I'll let this slide only because-"

"Do you wanna know what it actually was?" Luz rushes out, tensing up again.

A firm hand turns Luz towards Amity. Her eyebrow is raised and concern is etched on her face. "Luz, you're acting weird, like more than normal." 

_ I love you. _

"Amity! I, uh, I've been thinking about things,"

Amity nods slowly. "Okay, and?"

"Well, I. Um, I don't know how to say this. It's, uh,"

Amity pulls her arms in and hugs herself. "Luz, if this is a break-up just-"

"Can I kiss you?"

Both girls stop short and stare in shock.

"Kiss me?"

"Break-up?"

Amity is the first to crack. She laughs and moves her hands to rest on Luz’s shoulders. "Wow, I feel like an idiot."

_ I love you. _

Luz chuckles and moves her own hands to Amity's waist. "It's okay, I really started that off bad." She sends a lopsided smile with a shrug.

Amity shakes her head with a cute smile. She tilts her head and Luz almost can't think. So cute.

_ I love you _ .

"So, um, can I kiss you?" Her hands play with the fabric on Amity’s shirt, nerves starting to really get the better of her.

A deep scarlet covers Amity’s face that Luz finds endearing. "Yes! I, uh, I mean-please! Wow, that sounded desperate,I mean! Wait-ugh, yeah, yes! Yes, you can kiss me, Luz." She lets out a sigh  and somehow her blush deepens. “Oh, wow, I really can’t stop talking.”

Luz laughs loudly and appreciates the shift in the atmosphere. A calm, safety net now falls over them, all thanks to Amity’s adorable word vomit. 

_ I love you. _

Luz never imagined her first kiss to go like this. To be on top of a building, magical creatures everywhere, with the prettiest girl Luz has ever seen. She also thought it would be a very dramatic kiss in the rain. Probably after some type of fight or love confession, complete with the running into each other’s arms and a powerful kiss.

But, being here, with the sunset at their side, no fights or dramatics, Luz asking if she can kiss Amity. It’s so different than her daydreams, but somehow this is so much better.

Luz has read enough fanfiction, about kisses being blinding and electrifying. That tongues battle for dominance, that’s always been a weird concept to her. But, it’s  _ not _ like that, at least not for them.

Luz has never kissed anyone and she knows neither has Amity. A first kiss is way different than the fics say it is. 

Slow, tentative, a little awkward, but it’s safe. Luz knows that Amity would never judge her, that it’s okay that it’s stiff and a little unsure. She knows that Amity will still love her all the same.

The one thing a few fanfics got right, was the fireworks. The absolute spark Luz felt the minute they kissed. A blinding light.

Luz pulls back and sees that Amity is still in a slight daze. Her eyes are still closed and a small dopey smile is playing on her lips. Luz takes the opportunity to stare at her girlfriend. To appreciate the slope of her nose, the sharp jawline, the cute little wrinkles by her eyes. She loves how the red blush highlights her strong cheekbones. She especially loves how the blush creeps onto her flat out adorable ears.

Amity then slowly opens her eyes, golden eyes stare back into Luz’s. Those same eyes that Luz has always loved. She’s ready. She can do this.

“I love you, Amity.”

They both stand still and just wait. Luz holds her breath, despite her being 100% sure, she’s still cautious. She knows she loves Amity. She spends almost every second of the day thinking about her. The butterflies in her stomach go berserk whenever she so much as  _ thinks _ about her. 

Time becomes irrelevant as they wait. Luz watches as Amity’s eyes light up, a new gleam coming to them. Her face explodes in a rosy red and Luz can feel her own heart threaten to break out of her chest.

She loves Amity.

“I-”

And then her world comes crashing down.

Full red roses and blood come out of Amity’s mouth, the most Luz has seen in weeks. All of it gets dumped on the front of Luz’s shirt, but she can’t even be bothered by it.

Her heart shatters and sinks and bleeds out. The disease doesn’t lie. Luz doesn’t love Amity.

But, it doesn’t make sense. Luz has never experienced this feeling. This feeling so intense that it runs through her whole body, that her heart is constantly yearning for Amity. That her dreams are filled with them being together. That she can’t imagine spending her future with anyone else. This doesn’t make sense.

Amity collapses to her knees and the flowers continue at an alarming rate. Luz forgets her own feelings and realizes something is terribly wrong.

“Amity!” She rubs at her back and hits it as Amity starts to make a disturbing gurgling noise. “No! No! No!” Tears fall down Luz’s face as Amity’s color starts to change. “Owlbert!” Luz screams  loudly, she needs Eda.

Owlbert comes soaring in at lightning speed, he hurries over to the staff and secures himself on. Luz runs on pure adrenaline and she carries Amity into her arms and somehow gets onto the staff. Luz has no idea how she managed to hang on to the staff and Amity as Owlbert sped all the way to the Owl House.

They don’t even land before Luz is jumping off and crashing through the front door.

“Hey, Luz! How was your daaaaaate-” She slams the Hooty shut, attracting the attention of a sleeping King and Eda.

“What kind of rent are you paying to be slamming doors kid-” Eda shuts up instantly, seeing the state Amity is in. “King, patches, now.” Even King doesn’t protest, he scurries off to the first aid kit.

“E-Eda! Pl-please help! I-I don’t-ugh!” Luz sobs as she places Amity on the couch.

“Turn her on her side and just keep hitting her back.” Eda instructs as she zaps on some medical looking gloves. King comes flying in and slaps patches anywhere he can get to. Luz follows Eda’s orders and hopes this will work.

Amity starts to at least cough again, her face is still turning a sickly blue. 

Blood continues like a fountain out of her mouth and little rose petals tumble out every few seconds.

Eda grimaces before she reaches inside of Amity’s mouth. “Hold her hand Luz and keep her as still as possible. This is  _ not _ gonna feel pleasant.”

Luz braces for it and as soon as Eda pulls Amity kicks and tries to pry Eda’s hand away.

“Easy, kid! I’m just,” Eda grunts a bit, “Trying to help!’

Luz uses all of her strength to keep her girlfriend back. “It’ll be okay, Amity! I’m here. Just please, trust me.”

Eda is successful in pulling out the biggest rose Luz has ever seen, stem and thorns and even the roots come with it. Eda whistles and sticks the flower in a vase.

“Holy, no wonder she couldn’t breathe! What a beauty.”

Luz releases an anxious breath as Amity’s color returns to normal and her breathing comes back. It’s a bit shallow, but at least it’s consistent. She looks at Luz one last time, before the exhaustion kicks in and she passes out on the couch.

Luz slumps down onto the floor, her hand still intertwined tightly to Amity’s. She curls her free arm up and rests her head in the crook of her elbow, next to Amity’s head. Her tears have now dried up on her cheeks, leaving a cold trail behind.

She comes off the adrenaline and slowly slips into her own sleep. A dream filled with a smiling Amity, holding a bouquet of roses, asking Luz to marry her.

\-------

A soft light floods into the room, just barely grazing her eyes. Almost like the soft goodnight kisses Emira used to give her when she was younger. Amity opens her eyes and slowly comes out of the sleep haze.

Her body groans a bit as she moves around, her back not use to the couch-

Wait.

Her eyes fully snap open and she processes that she is not in her bedroom and definitely not in her house. She goes to move her arm up, only to be stopped by a warm grip.

Amity looks down and notices that her hand is safely intertwined with her girlfriend’s hand.

Oh, wow,  _ girlfriend _ . Luz is really her girlfriend. She’s been her girlfriend for a few weeks now, but it definitely still makes her combust every time she thinks about it. 

She turns to her side in order to get a better look at Luz and get the circulation back in her arm. He lets her thumb gently stroke over Luz’s hand as she observes the light dance across Luz’s perfect face.

Amity smiles to herself and lets her blush take over. She honestly got lucky and Amity has never been very lucky. She sighs as Luz makes little sleep twitches, her mouth curls up, her eyebrow ticks, her nose flares, and Amity thinks it’s a work of art. 

God, she loves Luz.

The thought stays with her as her mind drifts to memories of their dates, evening rides on the staff, late-night talks, holding hands in the hallways, their first kiss-

Amity stiffens and remembers exactly  _ why _ she’s here.

The pain was unbearable, the thorns felt like hot daggers digging into her throat. The slow agonizing pain of each flower traveling up, bringing more and more blood out. Her mouth was stained with that metallic taste and then, nothing.

Her chest was screaming, begging for just an ounce of oxygen. Her head pounded louder than any storm and her vision almost completely disappeared. Then, it was peaceful. The pain just stopped and her body buzzed.

Did she die? Amity really doesn’t know. All she knows is she remembers after that is a hand in her throat and a pain so severe she about blacked out. And maybe she did, because now here she is, waking up on this lumpy couch, feeling, well actually rested. Like she actually slept and the flowers didn’t disturb her slumber.

The flowers.

She doesn’t have to vomit. She waits for the cough or the tickle or the burn, but nothing comes. Amity stares at the still sleeping Luz. She fully lets her feelings take control. She admires Luz’s beauty, both inside and out. She thinks about how funny Luz is, how brave she is, that she puts her heart into everything she does. How she makes Amity feel.

“I love you.” She’s careful not to wake Luz, her voice barely above a whisper, but the words still get her heart racing all the same. She waits and waits for anything. The slightest tickle just anything.

Nothing happens. No cough, no flowers, no blood.

Amity can’t contain her excitement any longer. She rolls off the couch and lands not so gracefully on Luz with a string of giggles.

Luz groans and shifts around, her own eyes still glazed over in sleep. Amity can’t control her insane smile.

“Say it! Tell me again!” Amity squeals and squishes Luz’s face in her hands. Luz stares puzzled at her for a few moments.

“Tell you what?” She mumbles out, still not knowing what is happening. 

Amity can barely contain herself. “What you told me yesterday! On the roof! After we kissed! What did you tell me?” She rushes it out so fast she’s not sure Luz even understood it.

She watches Luz process her words, her gorgeous eyes scan around Amity’s face as she thinks about the past 24 hours. She can see the small blush form once she remembers.

“Y-you want-”

“Luz,  _ please _ tell me.”

“I love you.” She says it confidently, no hesitation, and Amity giggles as the girl slightly flinches, expecting the flowers that will never come.

Amity just smiles as Luz slowly processes everything, just as she did. Once it clicks, Luz springs up, getting them both into a sitting position. She smiles excitedly and holds both of Amity’s hands.

“I love you!”

Nothing.

“I love you!” She kisses the back of her hand.

“I loooooove you!”

“Who loves you? I Do!” She pulls Amity into a tight hug, complete with a few kisses to her cheek.

“I, Luz Noceda, love you, Amity Blight!”

By now, Amity is red as a tomato and she has dissolved into an absolute puddle of giggles and pure love. She wraps her arms around Luz and lets herself fully feel how her heart beats for Luz. How she doesn’t have to block it out anymore or choke down flowers. 

Luz  _ loves _ her. She genuinely loves her. It’s not some lie or Luz just trying to be a good friend. Luz is totally in love with her.

Amity pulls back and loves how Luz grabs her face. She gently squishes it and rubs her thumbs over her falling tears.

This, this right here, is all she has ever wanted.

“I love you, Luz Noceda and I always will.”

“I love you, Amity Blight and I always will.”

  
\-------

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: I really hope you guys liked this! I've been working on this almost none stop. It's kinda my baby. I hope everyone has a good day and 
> 
> PLEASE WATCH THE OWL HOUSE.


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